A Heart Ache

Tonight my heart was aching a little bit.

Hallie has a very special "puppy, kitty and blanky" that she has slept with almost every night for the last four years. She has cried pitifully sad tears when they were temporarily lost or left behind at home on an overnight trip. Puppy's fur is matted down and his neck is limp from being held so tightly night after night.

As I handed Hallie her "puppy, kitty and blanky" tonight she said, "Mommy, sometimes when you get older you don't want to hold on to things at night. And, well, mommy, I'm getting older." Then she pushed puppy, kitty and blanky away.

I instantly felt my heart ache. It was aching for my little one to stay little and treasure the security and joy she gets from worn out stuffed animals and a homemade pink blanket.

Of course I know she won't be six forever and really wouldn't desire that for her or me, but seeing her grow up a little bit at a time still causes some heart ache. I think it stems from the fact that I know as she grows the tears for puppy will be replaced with tears for things that hurt so much deeper. I so want to guard her from those deep hurts.

I also know that her joys will also be more meaningful. I pray that as she grows up her greatest joy would come from getting to know Jesus and His teachings more intimately.

Hebrews 5:13-14 "Anyone who lives on milk, being still an infant, is not acquainted with the teaching about righteousness. But solid food is for the mature, who by constant use have trained themselves to distinguish good from evil."