Wednesday, June 24, 2009


...Praising God for Hallie's surgery going so well. Yesterday Hallie had her tonsils removed by one of our doctor friends. She handled anesthesia well and has had minimal amounts of pain yesterday and today.

...Thankful for a date with Ryan and Hallie to the CWS. We saw six homeruns and Ryan caught a foul ball. Does baseball get any better?

...Every mom needs to get the book, "Parenting is your highest calling...and eight other myths that trap us in worry and guilt." This book offers biblical insight into the role a parent plays in the life of their child and discerns the differing and more important role of God in the life of a child. I found the book liberating and invaluable. If you are going to be a mom, in the midst of parenting young kids at home or if all your kids are out of the house but you still suffer from any amount of worry or guilt this book is for you!

#6 I'm thankful for the power of the Living God to transform my thoughts.

Sunday, June 21, 2009

A good husband and father

This last weekend as I was thinking about my marriage to Ryan and what a wonderful father he is, I asked Hallie the question, "Why do you think Mommy married Daddy?"

She replied, "Because you fell in love, blah blah blah, and he's a Christian."

She couldn't be more right!

Right now this amazing man is reading bedtime stories to his kiddos after a long day of playing with them. He also let the kids finish his triathlon race with him this weekend even though he was trying to outrun another runner! He also chose a 5 person paddle boat for his Father's Day gift so that we could go over to Lake Zorinsky and spend time together as a family on the water. (This is a follow up to the Trampoline he asked for a couple years back!)

What a fun, family man I am in love with! Happy Father's Day to one of the best father's out there!

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

California and Dancing

I just returned from a quick trip to Southern California to visit my brother. What a blessed time I had. Ryan and I went together and packed all we could into just over 48 hours. We toured San Bernardino and Redlands, saw the University my brother attended way back in college, went to Laguna Beach, hiked at Lake Gregory, went to his church and even made our way into L.A. to the Hollywood walk of fame.

Seeing where he lives, hearing his stories, knowing he is doing so well and seeing evidence of the Lord's presence in his life is a huge blessing to me since he recently moved out there this last February.

#4 A big brother that loves me and the friendship we have made over the last year.

On a completely different note...

#5 Dancing, and I mean dancing like no one is watching, with my daughter this afternoon. We were doing leaps and twirls as we praised the Lord with dance in our family room. Sorry no video footage for this one!

Monday, June 15, 2009


#3  I am forever grateful that God made me with the ability to see, hear, smell, taste and touch His creation.  Last night reminded me of these glorious gifts as I sat at a beautiful restaurant overlooking the ocean, feeling a soft breeze on my face as I ate a scrumptious chocolate covered creme brulee.  Then we headed down to the beach and I was blessed to hear the sound of the ocean waves crashing against the beach, smell the salt water in the fresh air, feel the fine sand between my toes and hold Ryan's hand in mine as we walked.  All the while, God was reminding me of His greatness as I watched the sun set over the vast, blue ocean.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

1000 Gifts

I have contemplated starting this list for quite sometime. I first read about 1000 gifts of thanks HERE. I decided to do this in my mind, but as we all know writing something down and committing publicly to do it helps to make it happen.

This blog started with a hope to See Him and Know Him as I walk through my daily routines of life. Numbering the gifts is an extension of that aim. I don't intend to just journal the thanks. I will also continue writing about struggles and joys, tears and smiles. But, jotting down my thanks will weave in and out of my musings.

So, today I commit to not just remembering and thanking God for boundless, endless, moment by moment gifts in my mind but writing them down as well.

#1 My mom ALWAYS has time to talk to me. At night, she often will answer my phone call from a deep sleep with a cheerful voice trying to hide her recent slumber. Then, she listens and councils, laughs and encourages as long as I need her. She is ALWAYS available when I need her.

#2 A walk and a talk with my best friend and husband.

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Being everything all the time

My latest struggle as a mother is the strong desire to be everything to my kids all the time. With this as my goal I am left feeling pretty wiped out, miserable and knowing I have failed the task at the end of the day. I know this sounds depressing but stick with me to see God at work.

Let me explain...

Lately, I have been perceiving that Jake has a need for more uninterrupted quality time with me and verbal appreciation for what he has done. Jacob is so good at creating his own fun and independent play that he doesn't whine for attention (typically) but just goes off by himself to create his own fun. All the while, his mind is processing and pondering the lack of attention he is getting from his mom. I won't go in to all the details except to say that when he does not get the attention his heart is longing for he very subtly uses negative behavior to get my undivided attention. A negative response is better than none at all, right?

The problem is that Zac is big on getting all the attention all the time. He does not walk off and comtemplate his dissatisfaction but verbalizes it loudly. For instance, if I give Jake a compliment Zac interrupts and begins telling me about all the things he has done well and wants me to tell him he is wonderful too. Zac has also been whining a lot when he doesn't get his way and throwing fits to get the attention and affirmation that he longs for.

Let's not leave out my sweet daughter that also wants to feel loved, admired and have special snuggle time with her mom.

So, when there is not enough of me to go around it seems the negative behaviors start overflowing which leads to bickering and too much discipline in my opinion. It's just not fun.

I also worry about the long term damage of a son or daughter that doesn't feel he or she was loved enough or got enough attention as a child.

So you see my problem. How can I be everything to everyone all the time?

I am grateful for the Lord's companionship in parenting and His invitation to surrender.

Today as I was walking to the park with my three kids. Jake ran ahead after Zac demanded my attention and was only satisfied holding his mommy's hand. All the while Hallie was wanting to show me her discoveries of bugs and flowers along the path. All their needs were real and all their needs were ok to have. I mean, I have the same needs. The need for the Lord to enjoy being with me, like playing at the park. The need for Him to hold my hand when I need to feel His presence. And, the need to share my discoveries with Him. All of this I want when I want it and not because He happens to be available and not preoccupied with the rest of the world's needs at that same moment.

The difference between me and Him...HE CAN DO IT! He can be and is EVERYTHING! And, as I was failing at meeting all my kids needs on the walk to the park today God asked me to hand it over to Him. So, I prayed that He would grow in each of them a knowledge and sense of their worth in Christ Jesus. That He would fill in the gaps when I could not be everything all the time. That He would be all they need and that I could rest in His care for their emotional needs and mine. Ahhh, surrender is good.

So, I will try to do it again tomorrow.

Cast all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7