Being everything all the time

My latest struggle as a mother is the strong desire to be everything to my kids all the time. With this as my goal I am left feeling pretty wiped out, miserable and knowing I have failed the task at the end of the day. I know this sounds depressing but stick with me to see God at work.

Let me explain...

Lately, I have been perceiving that Jake has a need for more uninterrupted quality time with me and verbal appreciation for what he has done. Jacob is so good at creating his own fun and independent play that he doesn't whine for attention (typically) but just goes off by himself to create his own fun. All the while, his mind is processing and pondering the lack of attention he is getting from his mom. I won't go in to all the details except to say that when he does not get the attention his heart is longing for he very subtly uses negative behavior to get my undivided attention. A negative response is better than none at all, right?

The problem is that Zac is big on getting all the attention all the time. He does not walk off and comtemplate his dissatisfaction but verbalizes it loudly. For instance, if I give Jake a compliment Zac interrupts and begins telling me about all the things he has done well and wants me to tell him he is wonderful too. Zac has also been whining a lot when he doesn't get his way and throwing fits to get the attention and affirmation that he longs for.

Let's not leave out my sweet daughter that also wants to feel loved, admired and have special snuggle time with her mom.

So, when there is not enough of me to go around it seems the negative behaviors start overflowing which leads to bickering and too much discipline in my opinion. It's just not fun.

I also worry about the long term damage of a son or daughter that doesn't feel he or she was loved enough or got enough attention as a child.

So you see my problem. How can I be everything to everyone all the time?

I am grateful for the Lord's companionship in parenting and His invitation to surrender.

Today as I was walking to the park with my three kids. Jake ran ahead after Zac demanded my attention and was only satisfied holding his mommy's hand. All the while Hallie was wanting to show me her discoveries of bugs and flowers along the path. All their needs were real and all their needs were ok to have. I mean, I have the same needs. The need for the Lord to enjoy being with me, like playing at the park. The need for Him to hold my hand when I need to feel His presence. And, the need to share my discoveries with Him. All of this I want when I want it and not because He happens to be available and not preoccupied with the rest of the world's needs at that same moment.

The difference between me and Him...HE CAN DO IT! He can be and is EVERYTHING! And, as I was failing at meeting all my kids needs on the walk to the park today God asked me to hand it over to Him. So, I prayed that He would grow in each of them a knowledge and sense of their worth in Christ Jesus. That He would fill in the gaps when I could not be everything all the time. That He would be all they need and that I could rest in His care for their emotional needs and mine. Ahhh, surrender is good.

So, I will try to do it again tomorrow.

Cast all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7