Forever Family

This past week has been eye, heart and mind opening.

For several months Zachary seems to have had an obsession with the relationship between mommy and baby. It does not matter what we read, watch or where we go he is always pointing out the mommy, baby and sometimes the whole family. If he sees a big rock and a little rock he will say, "That's the mommy rock and that's the baby rock. I'm the baby and you're the mommy." His favorite game is to play mommy and baby, and he is always the baby. He also prefers to be anyone or any animal other than Zac. We wants to be the baby lion, baby hyenna (yes, a hyenna??) or even baby Jake but not baby Zac.

Knowing that lots of children go through phases of acting like a baby (person or animal) I did not make much of it.

But, this behavior has not stopped and it was only recently that Ryan and I began to see what we think Zac is trying to tell us.

Ryan laid down to read Zac the book, Mishka. It is the story of a little bear and a boy that is adopted from Russia. Zac said, "NO, I DO NOT want that book!" Ryan urged him to read it and he went on to say, "NO, that is when I was in Russia and I was sad." Then, he turned his back to Ryan, crossed his arms and added, "If you read it I will not listen."

It was only after this that Ryan and I realized that he must have memories of being in Russia without a family and that his labeling game of mommy, baby, brother, sister and daddy is his way of telling and convincing himself and us that he is my baby and that he is in our family forever.

We also wonder if he is not confident in who he is as Zac. Maybe that is why he doesn't want to be Zac when he plays games.

So, in the last few days we have been gently persistant in telling him, "Zac, I am your mommy and I will be your mommy forever. You will never live in Russia again. You will stay with mommy and daddy in America." We have also told him, "You should be Zac. Zac is cool, Zac is wonderful, Zac is precious," etc.

You would not believe the subtle but significant changes we have seen in Zachary. He now wants to be baby Zac in the "baby game" and he seems to have lost some of his defiance and manipulation that I realize now was a disguise for insecurity.

I am thankful that God has given us the wisdom and words to help Zac to know in his heart and mind that he is a Horner and that will never change. Nothing he does or says changes the fact that he was adopted into our family forever and I am his mama.

Sounds like a message also meant for my heart.

"For God chose us to be adopted as his sons and daughters in Jesus Christ." Ephesians 1:5

"And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit." Ephesians 1:13